blackbutterfly
"My heart is a traitor," the boy said to the

alchemist, when they had paused to
rest the horses. "It doesn't want me to go on."
"That makes sense," the alchemist answered. "Naturally

it's afraid that, in
pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you've

won."


"Well, then, why should I listen to my heart?"

Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet.

Even if you pretend not
to have heard what it tells you, it will always be

there inside you, repeating to
you what you're thinking about life and about the

world."



Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know

your heart well, it will
never be able to do that to you. Because you'll know

its dreams and wishes, and
will know how to deal with them.
"You will never be able to escape from your heart. So

it's better to listen to
what it has to say. That way, you'll never have to

fear an unanticipated blow."


The boy continued to listen to his heart as they

crossed the desert. He came to
understand its dodges and tricks, and to accept it as

it was. He lost his fear, and
forgot about his need to go back to the oasis,

because, one afternoon, his heart
told him that it was happy. "Even though I complain

sometimes," it said,

"it's
because I'm the heart of a person, and people's hearts

are that way. People are
afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because

they feel that they don't
deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve

them. We, their hearts,
become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away

forever, or of moments
that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures

that might have been
found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because,

when these things
happen, we suffer terribly."



My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the

boy told the alchemist one
night as they looked up at the moonless sky.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse

than the suffering itself. And
that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search

of its dreams, because
every second of the search is a second's encounter

with God and with eternity."
"Every second of the search is an encounter with God,"

the boy told his heart.
"When I have been truly searching for my treasure,

every day has been
luminous, because I've known that every hour was a

part of the dream that I
would find it. When I have been truly searching for my

treasure, I've discovered
things along the way that I never would have seen had

I not had the courage to
try things that seemed impossible for a shepherd to

achieve."



his heart began to tell him things that came from the

Soul
of the World. It said that all people who are happy

have God within them. And
that happiness could be found in a grain of sand from

the desert, as the
alchemist had said. Because a grain of sand is a

moment of creation, and the
universe has taken millions of years to create it.

"Everyone on earth has a
treasure that awaits him," his heart said. "We,

people's hearts, seldom say
much about those treasures, because people no longer

want to go in search of
them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we

simply let life proceed, in
its own direction, toward its own fate. But,

unfortunately, very few follow the
path laid out for them–the path to their destinies,

and to happiness. Most people
see the world as a threatening place, and, because

they do, the world turns out,
indeed, to be a threatening place.


"So, we, their hearts, speak more and more softly. We

never stop speaking out,
but we begin to hope that our words won't be heard: we

don't want people to
suffer because they don't follow their

hearts."Continue in the direction of the Pyramids,"

said the alchemist. "And continue to
pay heed to the omens. Your heart is still capable of

showing you where the
treasure is."



"Is that the one thing I still needed to know?"
"No," the alchemist answered. "What you still need to

know is this: before a

"Why don't people's hearts tell them to continue to

follow their dreams?" the
boy asked the alchemist.
"Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and

hearts don't like to suffer."
From then on, the boy understood his heart. He asked

it, please, never to stop
speaking to him. He asked that, when he wandered far

from his dreams, his
heart press him and sound the alarm. The boy swore

that, every time he heard
the alarm, he would heed its message.
That night, he told all of this to the alchemist. And

the alchemist understood that
the boy's heart had returned to the Soul of the World.

the Soul of the World tests everything that was

learned along
the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so

that we can, in addition to
realizing our dreams, master the lessons we've learned

as we've moved toward
that dream. That's the point at which most people give

up. It's the point at
which, as we say in the language of the desert, one

'dies of thirst just when the
palm trees have appeared on the horizon.'
"Every search begins with beginner's luck. And every

search ends with the
victor's being severely tested."
The boy remembered an old proverb from his country. It

said that the darkest
hour of the night came just before the dawn.



"Are you crazy?" the boy asked the alchemist, when

they had moved on. "What
did you do that for?"
"To show you one of life's simple lessons," the

alchemist answered. "When you
possess great treasures within you, and try to tell

others of them, seldom are
you believed."



"Does a man's heart always help him?" the boy asked

the alchemist.
"Mostly just the hearts of those who are trying to

realize their destinies. But they do help children,

drunkards, and the elderly, too."
"Does that mean that I'll never run into danger?"
"It means only that the heart does what it can," the

alchemist said.







"Trust in your heart, but never forget that you're
in the desert. When men are at war with one another,

the Soul of the World can
hear the screams of battle. No one fails to suffer the

consequences of
everything under the sun."

"Your eyes show the strength of your soul," answered

the alchemist.


If we're going to go our separate ways soon," the boy

said, "then teach me
about alchemy."
"You already know about alchemy. It is about

penetrating to the Soul of the
World, and discovering the treasure that has been

reserved for you."
"No, that's not what I mean. I'm talking about

transforming lead into gold."
"Everything in the universe evolved," he said. "And,

for wise men, gold is the
metal that evolved the furthest. Don't ask me why; I

don't know why. I just
know that the Tradition is always right.
"Men have never understood the words of the wise. So

gold, instead of being
seen as a symbol of evolution, became the basis for

conflict."
"There are many languages spoken by things," the boy

said. "There was a time
when, for me, a camel's whinnying was nothing more

than whinnying. Then it
became a signal of danger. And, finally, it became

just a whinny again."
But then he stopped. The alchemist probably already

knew all that.

"I have known true alchemists," the alchemist

continued. "They locked
themselves in their laboratories, and tried to evolve,

as gold had. And they
found the Philosopher's Stone, because they understood

that when something
evolves, everything around that thing evolves as well.
"Others stumbled upon the stone by accident. They

already had the gift, and
their souls were readier for such things than the

souls of others. But they don't
count. They're quite rare.
"And then there were the others, who were interested

only in gold. They never
found the secret. They forgot that lead, copper, and

iron have their own destinies to fulfill. And anyone

who interferes with the destiny of another thing
never will discover his own."


"The sea has lived on in this shell, because that's

its destiny. And it will never
cease doing so until the desert is once again covered

by water."




"What is an alchemist?" he asked, finally.
"It's a man who understands nature and the world. If

he wanted to, he could
destroy this camp just with the force of the wind."
The men laughed. They were used to the ravages of war,

and knew that the
wind could not deliver them a fatal blow. Yet each

felt his heart beat a bit
faster. They were men of the desert, and they were

fearful of sorcerers.
"I want to see him do it," said the chief.



"Don't let them see that you're afraid," the alchemist

said. "They are brave
men, and they despise cowards."



"You gave them everything I had!" the boy said.

"Everything I've saved in my
entire life!"
"Well, what good would it be to you if you had t6

die?" the alchemist answered.
"Your money saved us for three days. It's not often

that money saves a person's
life."


"Don't give in to your fears," said the alchemist, in

a strangely gentle voice. "If
you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart."
"But I have no idea how to turn myself into the wind."
"If a person is living out his destiny, he knows

everything he needs to know.
There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible

to achieve: the fear of
failure."


"I'm not afraid of failing. It's just that I don't

know how to turn myself into the
wind."
"Well, you'll have to learn; your life depends on it."
"But what if I can't?"
"Then you'll die in the midst of trying to realize

your destiny. That's a lot better
than dying like millions of other people, who never

even knew what their
destinies were.
"But don't worry," the alchemist continued. "Usually

the threat of death makes
people a lot more aware of their lives."


"Remember what I told you: the world is only the

visible aspect of God. And
that what alchemy does is to bring spiritual

perfection into contact with the
material plane."
"What are you doing?"
"Feeding my falcon."
"If I'm not able to turn myself into the wind, we're

going to die," the boy said.
"Why feed your falcon?"
"You're the one who may die," the alchemist said. "I

already know how to turn
myself into the wind."



"Somewhere you are holding the person I love," the boy

said. "So, when I look
out over your sands, I am also looking at her. I want

to return to her, and I
need your help so that I can turn myself into the

wind."
"What is love?" the desert asked.
"Love is the falcon's flight over your sands. Because

for him, you are a green
field, from which he always returns with game. He

knows your rocks, your
dunes, and your mountains, and you are generous to

him."
"The falcon's beak carries bits of me, myself," the

desert said. "For years, I care
for his game, feeding it with the little water that I

have, and then I show him
where the game is. And, one day, as I enjoy the fact

that his game thrives on
my surface, the falcon dives out of the sky, and takes

away what I've created."
"But that's why you created the game in the first

place," the boy answered. "To
nourish the falcon. And the falcon then nourishes man.

And, eventually, man
will nourish your sands, where the game will once

again flourish. That's how the
world goes."
"So is that what love is?"
"Yes, that's what love is. It's what makes the game

become the falcon, the
falcon become man, and man, in his turn, the desert.

It's what turns lead into
gold, and makes the gold return to the earth."
"I don't understand what you're talking about," the

desert said.
"But you can at least understand that somewhere in

your sands there is a
woman waiting for me. And that's why I have to turn

myself into the wind."


"Help me," the boy said. "One day you carried the

voice of my loved one to
me."
"Who taught you to speak the language of the desert

and the wind?"
"My heart," the boy answered.


"You can't be the wind," the wind said. "We're two

very different things."
"That's not true," the boy said. "I learned the

alchemist's secrets in my travels. I
have inside me the winds, the deserts, the oceans, the

stars, and everything
created in the universe. We were all made by the same

hand, and we have the
same soul. I want to be like you, able to reach every

corner of the world, cross
the seas, blow away the sands that cover my treasure,

and carry the voice of
the woman I love."
"I heard what you were talking about the other day

with the alchemist," the
wind said. "He said that everything has its own

destiny. But people can't turn
themselves into the wind."
"Just teach me to be the wind for a few moments," the

boy said. "So you and I
can talk about the limitless possibilities of people

and the winds."


wanted to talk about those things, but it didn't know

how to turn a man into the
wind. And look how many things the wind already knew

how to do! It created
deserts, sank ships, felled entire forests, and blew

through cities filled with
music and strange noises. It felt that it had no

limits, yet here was a boy saying
that there were other things the wind should be able

to do.
"This is what we call love," the boy said, seeing that

the wind was close to
granting what he requested. "When you are loved, you

can do anything in
creation. When you are loved, there's no need at all

to understand what's
happening, because everything happens within you, and

even men can turn
themselves into the wind. As long as the wind helps,

of course."
The wind was a proud being, and it was becoming

irritated with what the boy
was saying. It commenced to blow harder, raising the

desert sands. But finally it
had to recognize that, even making its way around the

world, it didn't know how
to turn a man into the wind. And it knew nothing about

love.
"In my travels around the world, I've often seen

people speaking of love and
looking toward the heavens," the wind said, furious at

having to acknowledge its
own limitations. "Maybe it's better to ask heaven."



"The wind told me that you know about love " the boy

said to the sun. "If you
know about love, you must also know about the Soul of

the World, because it's
made of love."
"From where I am," the sun said, "I can see the Soul

of the World. It
communicates with my soul, and together we cause the

plants to grow and the
sheep to seek out shade. From where I am–and I'm a

long way from the earth–I
learned how to love. I know that if I came even a

little bit closer to the earth,
everything there would die, and the Soul of the World

would no longer exist. So
we contemplate each other, and we want each other, and

I give it life and
warmth, and it gives me my reason for living."
"So you know about love," the boy said.
"And I know the Soul of the World, because we have

talked at great length to
each other during this endless trip through the

universe. It tells me that its
greatest problem is that, up until now, only the

minerals and vegetables
understand that all things are one. That there's no

need for iron to be the same
as copper, or copper the same as gold. Each performs

its own exact function as
a unique being, and everything would be a symphony of

peace if the hand that
wrote all this had stopped on the fifth day of

creation.
"But there was a sixth day," the sun went on.
"You are wise, because you observe everything from a

distance," the boy said.
"But you don't know about love. If there hadn't been a

sixth day, man would not
exist; copper would always be just copper, and lead

just lead. It's true that
everything has its destiny, but one day that destiny

will be realized. So each
thing has to transform itself into something better,

and to acquire a new
destiny, until, someday, the Soul of the World becomes

one thing only."
The sun thought about that, and decided to shine more

brightly. The wind, which
was enjoying the conversation, started to blow with

greater force, so that the
sun would not blind the boy.
"This is why alchemy exists," the boy said. "So that

everyone will search for his
treasure, find it, and then want to be better than he

was in his former life. Lead
will play its role until the world has no further need

for lead; and then lead will
have to turn itself into gold.
"That's what alchemists do. They show that, when we

strive to become better
than we are, everything around us becomes better,

too."
"Well, why did you say that I don't know about love?"

the sun asked the boy.
"Because it's not love to be static like the desert,

nor is it love to roam the
world like the wind. And it's not love to see

everything from a distance, like you
do. Love is the force that transforms and improves the

Soul of the World. When
I first reached through to it, I thought the Soul of

the World was perfect. But
later, I could see that it was like other aspects of

creation, and had its own
passions and wars. It is we who nourish the Soul of

the World, and the world we
live in will be either better or worse, depending on

whether we become better
or worse. And that's where the power of love comes in.

Because when we love,
we always strive to become better than we are."
"So what do you want of me?" the sun asked.
"I want you to help me turn myself into the wind," the

boy answered.
"Nature knows me as the wisest being in creation," the

sun said. "But I don't
know how to turn you into the wind."
"Then, whom should I ask?"
The sun thought for a minute. The wind was listening

closely, and wanted to tell
every corner of the world that the sun's wisdom had

its limitations. That it was unable to deal with this

boy who spoke the Language of the World.
"Speak to the hand that wrote all," said the sun.


The boy reached through to the Soul of the World, and

saw that it was a part of
the Soul of God. And he saw that the Soul of God was

his own soul. And that he,
a boy, could perform miracles.





"From here on, you will be alone," the alchemist said.

"You are only three hours
from the Pyramids."
"Thank you," said the boy. "You taught me the Language

of the World."
"I only invoked what you already knew."



Will I learn to do that someday?" the boy asked.
"This was my destiny, not yours," the alchemist

answered. "But I wanted to
show you that it was possible."


"But I'm going in search of my treasure," the boy

said. "I'm very close to it
now."
"And I'm certain you'll find it," the alchemist said.
"Then why this?"
"Because you have already lost your savings twice.

Once to the thief, and once
to the general. I'm an old, superstitious Arab, and I

believe in our proverbs.
There's one that says, 'Everything that happens once

can never happen again.
But everything that happens twice will surely happen a

third time.'


"Where your treasure is, there also will be your

heart," the alchemist had told
him.




"Be aware of
the place where you are brought to tears. That's where

I am, and that's where your treasure is."

"


But here he was, at the point of finding his treasure,

and he reminded himself
that no project is completed until its objective has

been achieved. The boy
looked at the sands around him, and saw that, where

his tears had fallen, a
scarab beetle was scuttling through the sand. During

his time in the desert, he
had learned that, in Egypt, the scarab beetles are a

symbol of God.
Another omen! The boy began to dig into the dune. As

he did so, he thought of
what the crystal merchant had once said: that anyone

could build a pyramid in
his backyard. The boy could see now that he couldn't

do so if he placed stone
upon stone for the rest of his life.


But before they left, he came back to the boy and

said, "You're not going to die.
You'll live, and you'll learn that a man shouldn't be

so stupid. Two years ago,
right here on this spot, I had a recurrent dream, too.

I dreamed that I should
travel to the fields of Spain and look for a ruined

church where shepherds and
their sheep slept. In my dream, there was a sycamore

growing out of the ruins
of the sacristy, and I was told that, if I dug at the

roots of the sycamore, I
would find a hidden treasure. But I'm not so stupid as

to cross an entire desert
just because of a recurrent dream."


"No," he heard a voice on the wind say. "If I had told

you, you wouldn't have
seen the Pyramids. They're beautiful, aren't they?"


It's true; life really is generous to those who pursue

their destiny, the boy
thought.
blackbutterfly
The heat lasted until nightfall, and
all that time he had to carry his jacket. But when he

thought to complain about
the burden of its weight, he remembered that, because

he had the jacket, he
had withstood the cold of the dawn.


"People from all over the world have passed through

this village, son," said his
father. "They come in search of new things, but when

they leave they are
basically the same people they were when they arrived.

They climb the
mountain to see the castle, and they wind up thinking

that the past was better
than what we have now. They have blond hair, or dark

skin, but basically
they're the same as the people who live right here."
"But I'd like to see the castles in the towns where

they live," the boy explained.
"Those people, when they see our land, say that they

would like to live here
forever," his father continued.
"Well, I'd like to see their land, and see how they

live," said his son.
"The people who come here have a lot of money to

spend, so they can afford to
travel," his father said. "Amongst us, the only ones

who travel are the
shepherds."
"Well, then I'll be a shepherd!"

Take to the fields, and someday
you'll learn that our countryside is the best, and our

women the most beautiful."


If he were to tire of the Andalusian fields, he
could sell his sheep and go to sea. By the time he had

had enough of the sea,
he would already have known other cities, other women,

and other chances to
be happy. I couldn't have found God in the seminary,

he thought, as he looked
at the sunrise.

"And dreams are the language of God. When he speaks in

our language, I can
interpret what he has said. But if he speaks in the

language of the soul, it is
only you who can understand.





"I told you that your dream was a difficult one. It's

the simple things in life that
are the most extraordinary; only wise men are able to

understand them. And
since I am not wise, I have had to learn other arts,

such as the reading of
palms."



"What's the world's greatest lie?" the boy asked,

completely surprised.
"It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we

lose control of what's happening
to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's

the world's greatest lie."



"At that point in their lives, everything is clear and

everything is possible. They
are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything

they would like to see
happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a

mysterious force begins to
convince them that it will be impossible for them to

realize their destiny."



"It's a force that appears to be negative, but

actually shows you how to realize
your destiny. It prepares your spirit and your will,

because there is one great
truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it

is that you do, when you
really want something, it's because that desire

originated in the soul of the
universe. It's your mission on earth."



The Soul of the World is nourished by
people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and

jealousy. To realize
one's destiny is a person's only real obligation. All

things are one.
"And, when you want something, all the universe

conspires in helping you to
achieve it."




"If you start out by promising what you don't
even have yet, you'll lose your desire to work toward

getting it."
The boy told him that he had already promised to give

one-tenth of his treasure
to the Gypsy.
"Gypsies are experts at getting people to do that,"

sighed the old man. "In any
case, it's good that you've learned that everything in

life has its price. This is
what the Warriors of the Light try to teach."




He was sure that it made no
difference to her on which day he appeared: for her,

every day was the same,
and when each day is the same as the next, it's

because people fail to recognize
the good things that happen in their lives every day

that the sun rises.



"I'm surprised," the boy said. "My friend bought all

the other sheep
immediately. He said that he had always dreamed of

being a shepherd, and
that it was a good omen."
"That's the way it always is," said the old man. "It's

called the principle of
favorability. When you play cards the first time, you

are almost sure to win.
Beginner's luck."
"Why is that?"
"Because there is a force that wants you to realize

your destiny; it whets your
appetite with a taste of success."



"In order to find the treasure, you will have to

follow the omens. God has
prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have

to read the omens that he
left for you."



" 'Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give

you,' said the wisest of wise
men. 'The secret of happiness is to see all the

marvels of the world, and never
to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.' "


The shepherd said nothing. He had understood the story

the old king had told
him. A shepherd may like to travel, but he should

never forget about his sheep.



All this happened between sunrise and sunset, the boy

thought. He was feeling
sorry for himself, and lamenting the fact that his

life could have changed so
suddenly and so drastically.
He was so ashamed that he wanted to cry. He had never

even wept in front of
his own sheep. But the marketplace was empty, and he

was far from home, so
he wept. He wept because God was unfair, and because

this was the way God
repaid those who believed in their dreams.
When I had my sheep, I was happy, and I made those

around me happy.
People saw me coming and welcomed me, he thought. But

now I'm sad and
alone. I'm going to become bitter and distrustful of

people because one person
betrayed me. I'm going to hate those who have found

their treasure because I
never found mine. And I'm going to hold on to what

little I have, because I'm
too insignificant to conquer the world.

"I'm like everyone else–I see the world in
terms of what I would like to see happen, not what

actually does."



"When you want something, all the universe conspires

in helping you to achieve
it," he had said.


"Learn to recognize omens, and follow them," the old

king had said.


He had learned that there were certain things
one shouldn't ask about, so as not to flee from one's

own destiny.
"I promised
that I would make my own decisions," he said to

himself.


There was a moment of silence so profound that it

seemed the city was asleep.
No sound from the bazaars, no arguments among the

merchants, no men
climbing to the towers to chant. No hope, no

adventure, no old kings ordestinies, no treasure, and

no Pyramids. It was as if the world had fallen silent
because the boy's soul had. He sat there, staring

blankly through the door of the
café, wishing that he had died, and that everything

would end forever at that
moment.


"Because we have to respond to omens," the boy said,

almost without meaning
to; then he regretted what he had said, because the

merchant had never met
the king.
"It's called the principle of favorability, beginner's

luck. Because life wants you
to achieve your destiny," the old king had said.



every
blessing ignored becomes a curse.


"I guess you don't believe that a king would talk to

someone like me, a
shepherd," he said, wanting to end the conversation.
"Not at all. It was shepherds who were the first to

recognize a king that the rest
of the world refused to acknowledge. So, it's not

surprising that kings would talk
to shepherds."


"Everything in life is an omen," said the Englishman,

now closing the journal he
was reading. "There is a universal language,

understood by everybody, but
already forgotten. I am in search of that universal

language, among other
things. That's why I'm here. I have to find a man who

knows that universal
language. An alchemist."

The closer one gets to realizing his destiny, the more

that destiny becomes his
true reason for being, thought the boy.



I've learned things from the sheep, and I've learned

things from crystal, he
thought. I can learn something from the desert, too.

It seems old and wise.


maybe he
was also learning the universal language that deals

with the past and the
present of all people. "Hunches," his mother used to

call them. The boy was
beginning to understand that intuition is really a

sudden immersion of the soul
into the universal current of life, where the

histories of all people are connected,
and we are able to know everything, because it's all

written there.
"Maktub," the boy said, remembering the crystal

merchant.


But all this happened for one basic reason: no matter

how many detours and
adjustments it made, the caravan moved toward the same

compass point. Once
obstacles were overcome, it returned to its course,

sighting on a star that
indicated the location of the oasis. When the people

saw that star shining in the
morning sky, they knew they were on the right course

toward water, palm
trees, shelter, and other people. It was only the

Englishman who was unaware
of all this; he was, for the most part, immersed in

reading his books.


people need not fear the unknown if they are capable

of achieving what they
need and want.

"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's

our life or our possessions
and property. But this fear evaporates when we

understand that our life stories
and the history of the world were written by the same

hand."


"Once you get into the desert, there's no going back,"

said the camel driver.
"And, when you can't go back, you have to worry only

about the best way of
moving forward. The rest is up to Allah, including the

danger."
And he concluded by saying the mysterious word:

"Maktub."


"We make a lot of detours, but we're always
heading for the same destination."

"That's the principle that governs all things," he

said. "In alchemy, it's called the
Soul of the World. When you want something with all

your heart, that's when
you are closest to the Soul of the World. It's always

a positive force."


"Everything on earth is being continuously

transformed, because the earth is
alive… and it has a soul. We are part of that soul, so

we rarely recognize that it
is working for us. But in the crystal shop you

probably realized that even the
glasses were collaborating in your success."


"I have watched the caravan as it crossed the desert,"

he said.
"The caravan and the desert speak the same language,

and it's for that reason
that the desert allows the crossing. It's going to

test the caravan's every step to
see if it's in time, and, if it is, we will make it to

the oasis."


But there was one idea that seemed to
repeat itself throughout all the books: all things are

the manifestation of one
thing only.


They were men who had dedicated their entire lives to

the purification of metals
in their laboratories; they believed that, if a metal

were heated for many years,
it would free itself of all its individual properties,

and what was left would be
the Soul of the World. This Soul of the World allowed

them to understand
anything on the face of the earth, because it was the

language with which all
things communicated. They called that discovery the

Master Work–it was part
liquid and part solid.


"It's not easy to find the Philosopher's Stone," said

the Englishman. "The
alchemists spent years in their laboratories,

observing the fire that purified the
metals. They spent so much time close to the fire that

gradually they gave up
the vanities of the world. They discovered that the

purification of the metals had
led to a purification of themselves."


"Why do they make things so complicated?" he asked the

Englishman one night.
The boy had noticed that the Englishman was irritable,

and missed his books.
"So that those who have the responsibility for

understanding can understand,"
he said. "Imagine if everyone went around transforming

lead into gold. Gold
would lose its value.
"It's only those who are persistent, and willing to

study things deeply, who
achieve the Master Work. That's why I'm here in the

middle of the desert. I'm
seeking a true alchemist who will help me to decipher

the codes."




"I learned that the world has a soul, and that whoever

understands that soul can
also understand the language of things. I learned that

many alchemists realized
their destinies, and wound up discovering the Soul of

the World, the
Philosopher's Stone, and the Elixir of Life.
"But, above all, I learned that these things are all

so simple that they could be
written on the surface of an emerald."



"Everyone has his or her own way of learning things,"

he
said to himself. "His way isn't the same as mine, nor

mine as his. But we're both
in search of our destinies, and I respect him for

that."


"Because I don't live in either my past or my future.

I'm interested only in the
present. If you can concentrate always on the present,

you'll be a happy man.
You'll see that there is life in the desert, that

there are stars in the heavens, and
that tribesmen fight because they are part of the

human race. Life will be a
party for you, a grand festival, because life is the

moment we're living right
now."



don't know why these things have to be transmitted by

word of mouth, he
thought. It wasn't exactly that they were secrets; God

revealed his secrets easily
to all his creatures.
He had only one explanation for this fact: things have

to be transmitted this way
because they were made up from the pure life, and this

kind of life cannot be
captured in pictures or words.
Because people become fascinated with pictures and

words, and wind up
forgetting the Language of the World.



Meanwhile, the boy thought about his treasure. The

closer he got to the
realization of his dream, the more difficult things

became. It seemed as if what
the old king had called "beginner's luck" were no

longer functioning. In his
pursuit of the dream, he was being constantly

subjected to tests of his
persistence and courage. So he could not be hasty, nor

impatient. If he pushed
forward impulsively, he would fail to see the signs

and omens left by God along
his path.
God placed them along my path. He had surprised

himself with the thought.
Until then, he had considered the omens to be things

of this world. Like eating
or sleeping, or like seeking love or finding a job. He

had never thought of them
in terms of a language used by God to indicate what he

should do.
"Don't be impatient," he repeated to himself. "It's

like the camel driver said:
'Eat when it's time to eat. And move along when it's

time to move along.' "



At that moment, it seemed to him that time stood

still, and the Soul of the
World surged within him. When he looked into her dark

eyes, and saw that her
lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he

learned the most important
part of the language that all the world spoke–the

language that everyone on
earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It

was love. Something older
than humanity, more ancient than the desert. Something

that exerted the same
force whenever two pairs of eyes met, as had theirs

here at the well. She
smiled, and that was certainly an omen–the omen he had

been awaiting,
without even knowing he was, for all his life. The

omen he had sought to find
with his sheep and in his books, in the crystals and

in the silence of the desert.
It was the pure Language of the World. It required no

explanation, just as the
universe needs none as it travels through endless

time. What the boy felt at
that moment was that he was in the presence of the

only woman in his life, and that, with no need for

words, she recognized the same thing. He was more
certain of it than of anything in the world. He had

been told by his parents and
grandparents that he must fall in love and really know

a person before
becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way

had never learned
the universal language. Because, when you know that

language, it's easy to
understand that someone in the world awaits you,

whether it's in the middle of
the desert or in some great city. And when two such

people encounter each
other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future

become unimportant. There
is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that

everything under the sun
has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that

evokes love, and creates
a twin soul for every person in the world. Without

such love, one's dreams
would have no meaning.
Maktub, thought the boy.




"you told me that you loved me. Then, you taught me
something of the universal language and the Soul of

the World. Because of that,
I have become a part of you."


"You have told me about your dreams, about the old

king and your treasure.
And you've told me about omens. So now, I fear

nothing, because it was those
omens that brought you to me. And I am a part of your

dream, a part of your
destiny, as you call it.
"That's why I want you to continue toward your goal.

If you have to wait until
the war is over, then wait. But if you have to go

before then, go on in pursuit of
your dream. The dunes are changed by the wind, but the

desert never changes.
That's the way it will be with our love for each

other.
"Maktub," she said. "If I am really a part of your

dream, you'll come back one
day."




"The desert takes our men from us, and they don't

always return," she said. "We
know that, and we are used to it. Those who don't

return become a part of the
clouds, a part of the animals that hide in the ravines

and of the water that
comes from the earth. They become a part of

everything… they become the
Soul of the World.
"Some do come back. And then the other women are happy

because they
believe that their men may one day return, as well. I

used to look at those
women and envy them their happiness. Now, I too will

be one of the women
who wait.
"I'm a desert woman, and I'm proud of that. I want my

husband to wander as
free as the wind that shapes the dunes. And, if I have

to, I will accept the fact
that he has become a part of the clouds, and the

animals and the water of the
desert."


he was grateful to be in love. When you are in love,
things make even more sense, he thought.


"When people consult me, it's not that I'm reading the

future; I am guessing at
the future. The future belongs to God, and it is only

he who reveals it, under
extraordinary circumstances. How do I guess at the

future? Based on the omens
of the present. The secret is here in the present. If

you pay attention to the
present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve

on the present, what
comes later will also be better. Forget about the

future, and live each day
according to the teachings, confident that God loves

his children. Each day, in
itself, brings with it an eternity."


to die tomorrow was no worse than dying on any other

day. Every day was
there to be lived or to mark one's departure from this

world. Everything
depended on one word: "Maktub."


What is a stranger doing in a strange land?"
"I am following my destiny. It's not something you

would understand."
The stranger placed his sword in its scabbard, and the

boy relaxed.
"I had to test your courage," the stranger said.

"Courage is the quality most
essential to understanding the Language of the World."


"Show me where there is life out in the
desert. Only those who can see such signs of life are

able to find treasure."




"I'm going away," he said. "And I want you to know

that I'm coming back. I love
you because…"
"Don't say anything," Fatima interrupted. "One is

loved because one is loved. No
reason is needed for loving."
But the boy continued, "I had a dream, and I met with

a king. I sold crystal and
crossed the desert. And, because the tribes declared

war, I went to the well,
seeking the alchemist. So, I love you because the

entire universe conspired to
help me find you."
The two embraced. It was the first time either had

touched the other.
"I'll be back," the boy said.
"Before this, I always looked to the desert with

longing," said Fatima. "Now it
will be with hope. My father went away one day, but he

returned to my mother,
and he has always come back since then."



"You're crying?"
"I'm a woman of the desert," she said, averting her

face. "But above all, I'm a
woman."


Don't think about what you've left behind," the

alchemist said to the boy as
they began to ride across the sands of the desert.

"Everything is written in the
Soul of the World, and there it will stay forever."





"There is only one way to learn," the alchemist

answered. "It's through action.
Everything you need to know you have learned through

your journey. You need
to learn only one thing more."




"And what went wrong when other alchemists tried to

make gold and were
unable to do so?"
"They were looking only for gold," his companion

answered. "They were seeking
the treasure of their destiny, without wanting

actually to live out the destiny."


It's a code," said the boy, a bit disappointed. "It

looks like what I saw in the
Englishman's books."
"No," the alchemist answered. "It's like the flight of

those two hawks; it can't be
understood by reason alone. The Emerald Tablet is a

direct passage to the Soul
of the World.
"The wise men understood that this natural world is

only an image and a copy
of paradise. The existence of this world is simply a

guarantee that there exists a
world that is perfect. God created the world so that,

through its visible objects,
men could understand his spiritual teachings and the

marvels of his wisdom.
That's what I mean by action."
"Should I understand the Emerald Tablet?" the boy

asked.
"Perhaps, if you were in a laboratory of alchemy, this

would be the right time to
study the best way to understand the Emerald Tablet.

But you are in the desert.
So immerse yourself in it. The desert will give you an

understanding of the
world; in fact, anything on the face of the earth will

do that. You don't even
have to understand the desert: all you have to do is

contemplate a simple grain
of sand, and you will see in it all the marvels of

creation."


"How do I immerse myself in the desert?"
"Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it

came from the Soul of the
World, and it will one day return there."




"Why do we have to listen to our hearts?" the boy

asked, when they had made
camp that day.
"Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll

find your treasure."
"But my heart is agitated," the boy said. "It has its

dreams, it gets emotional,
and it's become passionate over a woman of the desert.

It asks things of me,
and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I'm

thinking about her."
"Well, that's good. Your heart is alive. Keep

listening to what it has to say."
blackbutterfly
A new game by playfish is hotel city! It's similar to home inn but by comparison it is more colorful and intersting.I expect items will be updated everyweek and new things to discover will be added too as this is from the makers of my favorite pet society!!! :)

The game is cute and simple. You manage your hotel,expand it so there'll be more guests and you earn more.
You get to buy rooms and put them together.

functional room- cleaning room where you can hire a staff to work as hotel keeper and clean up guest rooms

commercial rooms- gymn,restaurant,bar,cinema,swimming pool, arcade (allows you to hire staff again to manage a particular room

decorated rooms- it's a predesigned room you can just drag to the building so u don't have to worry about choosing for interiors

guest room- smaller to big rooms you can drag and decorate

you can max the decoration bar in each rooms and get more coins per guests :)

weee i love poking on the guests and earning 450 coins per head and visitng friends and recieving my bag of coins for the day! :) you can poke your friends' guests too and earn. it's quicker to earn here although items are expensive too hehe and you need to hire real friends from your facebook so that you get rid of temporary staff in your hotel each time you add a commercial building as it makes shift rates so high that way.


Talking about hiring...
Playfish should fix "hire/temporary staff" problem before more and more of it's players get's too annoyed and just delete the application. Wahhh it's happening for me and it's sooo frustrating that it's been days and they haven't fixed it. : P
blackbutterfly

"Happiness is only real when shared." This is what he wrote in between a line of a page of a book he loves.


Few weeks ago i was watching a movie "into the wild" the true life story of Christopher Mccandles. It felt like a dragging weird one that I asked my sis to move it to another channel but then it turned out, I was listening to the narration and as I kept watching the guy moving from one place to another I was suddenly all so curious with him. A young man who's got all big and beautiful possibilities open for him,smart,intelligent fresh graduate who gave up all he had in the bank , left home to start a life traveling and making hope in an absolute remoteness. His strong ideals and philosophies can be very uni que,deceptive,or too pure or misled? Some think he's a rebellious wasted man, some think he's a real model of a life of dreams, and courage, some think he's a poor religious aztec, or perhaps even a cult.

The adventures in his solitude made immortal in his journals, kept me watching the movie instead with full intent and in fact, hmmm it has left this inkmark on me that i've been researching about him too.

In his self-chosen battle and journey , he lived life to discover the depths of nature,silence,self-sufficiency and intense idealism as influenced by  Jack London, Leo Tolstoy, W. H. Davies, and Henry David Thoreau.

The tragedy of his end is like some stinging claw on my heart as he died realizing too late and imagining way back in the arms of his loved ones.  His body was found dead on September 6, 1992, weighing an estimated 67 pounds (30 kg). Believed to have died by starvation or speculated poison from an ingested toxic seed. He tore the final page from Louis L'Amour's memoir, Education of a Wandering Man, which contains an excerpt from a Robinson Jeffers poem titled "Wise Men in Their Bad Hours":

Death's a fierce meadowlark: but to die having made
Something more equal to centuries
Than muscle and bone, is mostly to shed weakness.
The mountains are dead stone, the people
Admire or hate their stature, their insolent quietness,
The mountains are not softened or troubled
And a few dead men's thoughts have the same temper
.

On the other side of the page, McCandless added, "I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD. GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL!"
blackbutterfly
I've been playing Social City, another game brought to facebook by playdom, maker of mobsters. Hmmm Now i think the game has a pretty interesting concept actually that takes you from the sickening,drowning stupid clicks of suffocating farmville life. : P weee!

Now from the apartment of yoville,to the once easy peaceful life in the farm, this time to a regionion where you can lead your city to big booom!

As a mayor, you are given a population you can grow, build commercial buildings,liesure buidings, factories,homes,create beautiful landscape.  Buying homes allows your population to grow. You need to create more commercial/liesure buildings  as they grow and need to produce more at the factory to be able to get those buildings. You have to work a sensible balance between your population and your liesure. Too much population without liesure will make citizens unhappy and eventually your people won't grow in number.  (
Also note, your citizens are just as unhappy will pause its growth if liesure buildings are dirty and need cleaning so watch out for the broomstick sign and make cleanups so they produce. You do need to take proper look at the list of contracts you get from your factories coz that's how you earn your money to buy more buildings. :)  Job contracts are available in a wide range that you can chooose the best one to earn you while on your computer or away for some time.  It can be tricky as some contracts offer you big wage but then somehow are too expensive to sign up with. I love to look at the contracts and study which brings more money sensibly with less investment and good duration. :)   Choose what's best for your schedule and avoid stress. :)

make it quick
 commercial buildings,houses-create population
liesure buildings/sceneries-allows population growth
factories-create money
money-will get you buildings and factories :)

I love this game it's pretty addictive BUT
I do believe what TURNS OFF players might be
IT'S POOR ,SLOPPY, LOUSY  SERVER!
Wahhhhh I am sick of how the loading time bug just can't get permanently fixed. It's a pitty that playdom got such great concept but poooor server. I doubt if much of us will  be insistently playing the game when it's NOT LOADABLE, NOT PLAYABLE for series of days like i'm suffering for two weeks now.

:( I used to be the top city among my friend's list but now ... i don't know how much i've slipped down because of playdom's poor connectivity problems. I still think playfish and zynga games doesn't give me this headache!
or....well if they did one timme or two, they act on it and get it fixed so we keep and enjoy the application.

Paging playdom pleaaaaaaase fix it! :(
blackbutterfly

From an Illinois prison to a modeling agency to a challenging career in New York, Grace Adams carries the pain and betrayal of her past, until she finds happiness in the arms of New York attorney Charles Mackenzie, but her new life is threatened by an old enemy who will do anything to destroy her



Yes, I am really really catching up with this! I have Sidney Sheldon, Nicholas Sparks and Danielle Steel novels all lined up.   Just started MALICE this day and I really wonder why I happen to read this time similar sensitive case? Wahhh this one is twice vile than what happened to Ashley in Sheldon's "tell me your dreams".




This is the story of a 17-yr old orphan convicted for manslaughter of his own father the night her mom was just burried.  Shrouded by unbearable mist of a dark family secret, Grace carries with her the pain and horror initially subjecting herseslf to a twisted form of love to protect the family she never had nor loved her back. She finds herself resolved to take on any deadly verdict.  It was with the help of her Molly, herpsychiatrist and her  attorney David where for the first time in her life she found a nurturing friendship.  
Grace being sentenced to a reduced degree served behind a more darker, riotous,beastly savage nature of the real life in prison.  The horrors of her past repeats itself more oddly as she becomes a helpless victim trapped by a supposedly gang rape with women headed by terrorizing Brenda.  Somehow, in the middle of this danger she fnds  timely rescue byLuana, antoher inmate who to her luck turned out to be the most-invincible-feared-one. Together with Luana and Sally, her cellmate, life turns bearable as she becomes stronger  She somehow found her inner peace as she shared friendship and protection of new friends. However two more heartbreaking things occured as she approaches the end of her term. Molly announces her wedding but the night she was headed for honeymoon, dies in plane crash while David (who's secretly in love and obssessed of her) finally moves away to get married.  




At the end of two years life will turn differently for Grace as she takes on a promising modelling career and meets  Charles Mackenzie.  Life seems beautful only that she finds herself extremely haunted by the past that may break her agan and again.
blackbutterfly
Some pages i love to go back to :)


"Hello," Alette said shyly.
The artist nodded toward the painting he was working on.
"What do you think?"
"Bellissimo. I think it's wonderful." And she waited for
her inner voice to say. For a stupid amateur. But it didn't
happen. She was surprised. "It's really wonderful."
He smiled. "Thank you. My name is Richard, Richard
Melton."
"Alette Peters."
"Do you come here often?" Richard asked.
"Si. As often as I can. I don't live in San Francisco."
"Where do you live?"
"In Cupertino." Not-"It's none of your damn business" or
"Wouldn't you like to know?" but-"In Cupertino."
What is
happening to me?

"That's a nice little town."
"I like it." Not-"What the hell makes you think it's a
nice little town?" or "What do you know about nice little
towns?
" but-"I like it."
He was finished with the painting. "I'm hungry. Can I buy
you lunch? Cafe De Young has pretty good food."

Alette hesitated only a moment. "Va bene. I'd like that."
Not-"You look stupid" or "I don't have lunch with strangers,"

but-"I'd like that. " It was a new, exhilarating experience
for Alette

what i think: kinda really cute how even an alter is aware she isn't normal
touched perhaps by some sort of an undeniable chemistry. hehe 
arghhh sad it didn't end that lovey-happy 

"I had a terrible dream last night," Ashley said. She
closed her eyes, reliving it. "I was running. I was in a huge
garden filled with flowers... They had weird, ugly faces...
They were screaming at me... I couldn't hear what they were
saying. I just kept running toward something... I don't know
what...."
She stopped and opened her eyes.
"Could you have been running away from something? Was
something chasing you?"

"I don't know. I-I think I'm being followed. Dr. Speakman.
It sounds crazy, but-I think someone wants to kill me."
He studied her a moment. "Who would want to kill you?"
"I-I have no idea."
"Have you seen anyone following you?"
"No."
"You live alone, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Are you seeing anyone? I mean romantically?"
"No. Not right now."
"So it's been a while since you-I mean sometimes when a
woman doesn't have a man in her life-well, a kind of physical
tension can build up...."
What he's trying to tell me is that I need a good- She
could not bring herself to say the word. She could hear her
father yelling at her, "Don't ever say that word again.
People will think you're a little slut. Nice people don't say
flick. Where do you pick up that kind of language?"

"I think you've just been working too hard, Ashley. I
don't believe you have anything to worry about. It's probably
just tension. Take it a little easier for a while. Get more
rest."
"I'll try."
Shane Miller was waiting


what i think: Look whos talking! lol  initially i thought there is nothing wrong with father-daughter relationship, i suspected it was just the mother who died wahhhhhh but then it turned out to be both.  

It was amazing how much people could change in ten years.
They were fatter and thinner... prosperous and downtrodden.
They were married and divorced... parents and parentless...
.

what i think: it always feels like that on reunions! wahhh be the thinner,prosperous,younger,
married andhappy one ! :p 


 "Congratulations, David..."
"Good job..."
"You really showed them...."
David walked into his office. Holly was gone. David
started cleaning out his desk.
"David-"
David turned around. It was Joseph Kincaid.
Kincaid walked up to him and said,
"What are you doing?"
"I'm cleaning out my office. I was fired."
Kincaid smiled.
"Fired? Of course not No, no, no. There
was some kind of a misunderstanding." He beamed. "We're
making you a partner, my boy. In fact, I've set up a press
conference for you here this afternoon at three o'clock."

David looked at him. "Really?"
Kincaid nodded.
"Absolutely."
David said, "You'd better cancel it. I've decided to go
back into criminal law. I've been offered a partnership by
Jesse Quiller
. At least when you're dealing with that part of
the law, you know who the criminals really are.

So, Joey,
baby, you take your partnership and shove it where the sun
don't shine."


what i thinK: lol! that's what all suckers deserve! hehehe this part made me feel so devilishly 
triumphant for David! hehe 
lesson: just be good to everyone okay? and love people sincerely not for what you can get out of the relationship alone. might be too late ... fate has funny twist! :p




There was such an incredible chasm between her innocent
vulnerability and the dark forces that were able to take over
her life. Every time he talked to Ashley, he had an
overpowering urge to try to protect her.
She's like a
daughter to me, he thought. Who am I kidding? I'm falling in
love with her.

Dr. Keller went to see Otto Lewison. "I have a problem,
Otto."

"I thought that was reserved for our patients."
"This involves one of our patients. Ashley Patterson."
"Oh?"
"I find that I'm-I'm very attracted to her."
"Reverse transference?"
"Yes."
"That could be very dangerous for both of you, Gilbert."
"I know."



"I didn't know I had any problems until- Well, you know."
"Do you know why, Ashley? Because you buried them. You
couldn't face what happened to you, so you built the fences
in your mind and shut the bad things away.
To one degree or
another, a lot of people do that."


 what i think:automatically shut off yah or it would hurt too much wed die. 



"Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked.
"Very much. Thank you." She looked at him and said,
"You're not like other doctors."
"They don't dance?"
"You know what I mean."
He was holding her close, and both of them felt the
urgency of the moment.
"That could be very dangerous for both of you,
Gilbert...."




It was all Gilbert Keller could do not to take her in his
arms and hold her and tell her that he loved her and
everything was going to be all right.
But, of course, it was
impossible.
I'm her doctor.

I'll miss her. Dr. Keller thought. I'll miss her terribly.     

what i think: omg how do u handle that being in love with your patient?!


"Do you sleep well at night?"
"Now I do, yes."


"Tell Me Your Dreams."
"I used to have terrible dreams; something was always
chasing me. I thought I was going to be murdered."
 
"Do you still have those dreams?"
"Not anymore. My dreams are very peaceful. I see bright
colors and smiling people. Last night, I dreamed I was at a
ski resort, flying down the slopes. It was wonderful. I don't
mind cold weather at all anymore."

what i think: no its not just a simle question at all. It means so much
more... 
blackbutterfly
Wahhh!
I love this book! 
I am not surprised his father is caple of it.  Even when throughout the previous chapters he'z been described as a loving,sensitive,dedicated charitable best father in the world, somewhere int he story i doubted it.  I guess coz it's too good to be true? hahahaa i mean hehe no offense meant but when good sheeps are too good, hehe most often they are wolves!  

 True evil does exist.  I don't believe in literal hell fire but how i wish all incestful bastards end up there.  It gives me a strongly objecting disgust that her father who in the end was able to walk out freely and with a new family and another victim close by. Well, but in real lifethough sometimes it ends that way, some form of evil persists and we're unjustified. exactly the way we want.

Ashley's case of multiple personality disorder/disassociative idetity crises is quite something too close to impossible to prove in the court of law that refuses to take ghosts and demons or other similar stuff as evidence hehehe yah it's tough.

Hmm i wish hehe in my too-girly-predictable way, that in the end she had someone that would've brought real love for her. The real love that heals

But hmmm Ashley seems to be impossibly under the self-made snare she thought would save her. I reallly wish the father was condemened and out in the open, mask off, and that she has been completely cured with a promising future but hehe there she was singing that pop- goes- the -weasel again! too bad wahh but well..talking about reality.
blackbutterfly

Description

Meet Ashley Patterson, the brainy, babelicious "computer whiz" and confused heroine of Tell Me Your Dreams. Although she has a cushy job at Global Computer Graphics, a fast-growing start-up in Silicon Valley, her life falls short of fulfilling.She's lonely, shy, and absolutely convinced she's being stalked. What's worse, the only sympathetic ear around is her father, Dr. Patterson, the heartless heart surgeon, who has the charm of an electric eel and the compassion of a tarantula. Given her options, Ashley looks to the heavens for support and offers up an ultimatum to the Almighty: "I'll make a deal with you, God. If it doesn't rain, it means that everything is all right, that I've been imagining everything." Of course, it starts raining buckets just paragraphs later, setting off a car alarm of an omen about our computer cutie's fate.Enter Toni Prescott and Alette Peters. They both work with Ashley at Global Computer Graphics, but the similarities end there. Toni is a saucy, British vixen with a penchant for Internet dating and discotheques. La bella Italiana Alette, on the other hand, is a wannabe artist who prefers quiet, dreamy weekends withbeefcake painters. Reminiscent of junior high school, Toni and Alette do their best to keep Ashley out of their cool clique, but find it difficult when a string of murders irrevocably binds them together.Based on a true story and laden with realistic details--not to mention a whopper of an ending--Tell Me Your Dreams is vintage Sheldon. However, there is one necessary caveat: avoid moviegoer types who insist on telling you the entire plot before you have a chance to see it. You should be doing this anyway, but take extra care with this book. Once the surprise ending is blown, so is the fun in reading it. --Rebekah Warren
Features
Theme: Fiction, Fiction - Psychological Suspense, Fiction / Mystery & Detective / Women Sleuths, Mystery & Detective - Women Sleuths, Mystery/Suspense, Psychological, Suspense
Date Published: August 01, 1999
Publisher: Vision
Author: Sidney Sheldon
Pages: 384
source: Target.com


I am really catching up on books and i have 5 from Sidney Sheldon lined up hehe
I am setting time each day to read chapters.

This morning I started with "tell me your dreams" Ummm to early to tell but i think Ashley could be the culprit for the 2 murders so far. Wowww I miss master sheldon! now i am so absorbed again. hehe
blackbutterfly
JACOB'S BOOK - obnoxious jacob! grrrr but nahhh he's funny.  book 2 is Jacob's point of view and i find
his style funny kind of annoying drama an stuff! Even his chapter titles are all so much of him, so so Jacobish!
Although i can sypathize with him hmmm or maybe even empathize, i still think his love is such a funny kind of melodrama!  

MISERY LOVES COMPANY - Edward shouldn't have a change of heart about the monster. ..or so he thought but then distraught and exploding in pain upon seeing how edward-bella-baby in tummy and rosalie hugged one moment which changed it all. A picture of happy family ....wahhhh then out jacob goes with edward's offer of fancy car to fnd someone to imprint with and forget how he feels.  hehe


JACOB THE ALPHA - wowww i love this part! Young and yet decisive, he knows when to stand up for his own and fight for bella you- and- me -against- the -world -type. It touches me how Edward can put burning courage for the one who calls him "bloodsucker" and the one he calls "dog".  Edwad has unvield to Jacob his real upper state, his birthright, the real heir and Alpha and showed him how to embrace it and save bella and all of the tribe. He may have left his own tribe but he needed to for what is RIGHT.

JACOB VS. BARBIE - lol  Jacob's one of favorite things everyday since Bella was pregnant was to stay close and find ways to hit on Barbie( jacob's very appropriate endearment for Rosalie) to get herr temper escalating .  He'd find apt jokes to annoy her which in a wierd way he and Edward can laugh together despite their thin layer (well at least thinning day to day layer of hostility)

Remember when he phased to his giant wolfy state and how he intentionally settled himself right where his feet would almost touch barbie's face. lol and how he planned to and visualize all sorts of evil strategic attack to put an end to Barbie and that little monster! :p and how it turned out funny after when he saw the face of the child...lol'z i thought it might happen to him for teasing his friend imprinting on that baby!

THE VANITIES OF ALICE - lol - wear-once-attire! that overreacting hallof fame designer and fashion model! wahhh andhow that makes bella under her submission likea dress up doll andall that! Her imposing ways for glamour and fashion be it on bella's wardrome to her parties ...graduation and wedding wahhhh! and after wedding and even post vampirazation!

BELLA the Seductress - LoL  UMMmmm i think when she tried to get the vampire going for it,  i kinda thought it should have been the other way around  and i was right Edward told her exactly wha i had in mind. hehe well she's right, he's an old-fashioned vampire and hehe i think bella is an inexperienced seductress.

BELLLA-EDWARD honeymoon - ahhahathe inexperienced and the hesitant ummm.... and then bella waking up asking why she has feathers all over her....and all those chunks of wood from their down-trodden bed! :p lol a dangerous vampire!

BELLA'S PREGNANCY- wahhh conceiving a human an dhalf immortal and al the harrowingg things that goes along with it unexpectedly like a too bg too fast-pased-cycle cracking her bones and sipping her blood.
Remember that cup of goeey red liquid and the slurping thirst-crazed mom? weeeee
wahhhhh well as the book warns...."if you love the one who is killling you, how could you not give it ...if it's someone you truly love?" 

BELLA'S emergency VAmpirization! - wahhhh silly girl who loves to be a vampire but so bold enough to o for that where Edward will have no choice.

BELLA'S FIRST HUNT - ummm wowww the remarkably beautiful model in her runway dress and designer shoes hehehe courtesy of sweet-fashion-obssessed-sis Alice! hehe out for her first festive meal!
blackbutterfly
Days ago when i flipped through the final page of Breaking Dawn, it's so wierd to feel sad when the last chapter was entitled "THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER".


woWwWwww


At the edge of the story I felt like something pricked me ...gnawing and gaping pain but sort of numbing. :(


Perhaps because the particular scene i shaped in my mind was too melodramatic to handle.  In the middle of that vampie-wolf pact vs. the informidable Volturi  it was that point Bella was giving in to the dark gallows of fate.  The would-have-been separation was a hope for a life breathing on and yet a graceful surrender in death.  


Hmmm even when i was sue it's gonna be happy ending it felt that way. wahhhh


anyway


My most unforgettable part on this book ...yay coming next post.
blackbutterfly
Edward met my gaze evenly. His expression was calm, but the pain in his eyes was unconcealed.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.506

I didn’t say it wasn’t the best night I’ve ever spent. Just that I didn’t get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.509

But, if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.509

Don’t worry about me, Bells. I’ll be fine, just like I always am. ’Sides, you think I’m going to let Seth go in my place — have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.510

All of my best nights have happened since I met you.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.511

Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about ‘Jacob, my Jacob.’ Your Jacob enjoyed that quite a lot.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.512

You love me more than I deserve.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.513

You’ve always seemed more like a dream than reality.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.513

A hundred years from now, when you’ve gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.513

It made no difference that Jacob was not human when he cried out. I needed no translation.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.514

Truce over.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.514

I never promised to fight fair. And he deserves to know.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.514

Yes. I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn’t want to leave any part of him unharmed.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.515

Do you think I care whether it’s fair or whether he was adequately warned? I’m hurting him. Every time I turn around, I’m hurting him again. I’m a hideous person.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.515

I was hurting everyone today. Was there anything I touched that didn’t get spoiled?
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.517


I was selfish, I was hurtful. I tortured the ones I loved.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.517

Edward would never see me shed another tear for Jacob Black.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.517


I had to get over this irrational feeling that Jacob belonged in my life. He couldn’t belong with me, could not be my Jacob, when I belonged to someone else.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.518

It would be no more than I deserved if I somehow lost them both.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.520


There was no end to his generosity. I deserved him now less than I ever had.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.521

I won’t go far, but I won’t listen, either. I know you don’t want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.521


I had to never hurt him again. That would be my mission in life. Never again would I be the reason for this look to come into his eyes.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.521

Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.525


Jacob was right. He’d been right all along. He was more than just my friend. That’s why it was so impossible to tell him goodbyebecause I was in love with him. Too. I loved him, much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change anything; it was only enough to hurt us both more. To hurt him worse than I ever had.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.528

That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 23, p.530


I lay facedown across the sleeping bag, waiting for justice to find me. Maybe an avalanche would bury me here. I wished it would. I never wanted to have to see my face in the mirror again.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.531

And I thought I fought dirty. He makes me look like the patron saint of ethics. I’m not mad at you, love. Jacob’s more cunning than I gave him credit for. I do wish you hadn’t asked him, though.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.532


It’s just that he would have kissed you anyway — even if you hadn’t fallen for it — and now I don’t have an excuse to break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.532

Bella, did you really believe he was that noble? That he would go out in a flame of glory just to clear the way for me?
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.532

There wasn’t enough room in my body to contain anything besides the hatred I felt toward myself.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.533


You’re such a bad liar, you’ll believe anyone who has the least bit of skill.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.533

But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might wish otherwise, so is he… There are holes in your life that I can’t fill. I understand that.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.533

When I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one to stitch you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark — on both of you. I’m not sure those kinds of stitches dissolve on their own. I can’t blame either of you for something I made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn’t let me escape the consequences.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.534


I should have known you’d find some way to blame yourself. Please stop. I can’t stand it.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.534

I can be noble, Bella. I’m not going to make you choose between us. Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me you want, or none at all, if that’s better. Don’t let any debt you feel you owe me influence your decision.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.534

What happened to fighting back? Don’t start with the noble self-sacrifice now! Fight!
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.535


I don’t care that it’s cold here. I don’t care that I stink like a dog right now. Make me forget how awful I am. Make me forget him. Make me forget my own name. Fight back!
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.535

You said I could have any part of you I wanted. I want this part. I want every part.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.535


First, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.536

We will try, Bella. I’ll make good on my promise. But I’d much rather it wasn’t in reaction to Jacob Black.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.536

We’ve got skill, training, and surprise on our side. It will be over very soon. If I didn’t truly believe that, I would be down there now — and you’d be here, chained to a tree or something along those lines.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.537


If I had to bleed to save them, I would do it. I would die to do it, like the third wife. I had no silver dagger in my hand, but I would find a way.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.539

I wasn’t sure how I heard the low sound with all the other noises echoing off the stone wall and hammering inside my head. My own heartbeat should have been enough to drown it out. But, in the split second that I stared into Victoria’s eyes, I thought I heard a familiar, exasperated sigh.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 24, p.550

Bella, can you drop the rock, please? Carefully. Don’t hurt yourself.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.556

You don’t have to be afraid, Bella. You’re safe. I won’t hurt you.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.556

It’s going to be all right, Bella. I know you’re frightened now, but it’s over. No one is going to hurt you. I won’t touch you. I won’t hurt you.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.557


Are you… Aren’t you afraid of me?
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.557



   I’m fine. I’m okay. I’m just. Freaking out. Give me. A minute.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.557

I didn’t want you to see that. See me like that. I know I must have terrified you.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.558


just beheaded and dismembered a sentient creature not twenty yards from you. That doesn’t bother you?
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.558


You know that you nearly gave me a heart attack? Not the easiest thing to do, that.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.559



Just you wait till I’m a vampire! I’m not going to be sitting on the sidelines next time.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.559


The Volturi do not honor truces with werewolves.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.564


She’ll come around when she’s ready, Edward. She’s had too much to deal with today. Let her mind protect itself.
Carlisle Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.566


As soon as we’re done here, I will do what I can to help him. Sam is trying to get him to phase back to his human form. That will make treating him easier. I’ve never been to veterinarian school.
Carlisle Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.567

Overprotective fool.
Alice Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.569


A united front, as Edward had said, with me at the heart, in the safest place.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.571

There are no options for those who break the rules.
Jane, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.572


This one seems to bring out bizarrely strong reactions in our kind.
Jane, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.576

It’s too bad we missed the fight. It sounds like it would have been entertaining to watch.
Jane, Eclipse, Chapter 25, p.577


Play your role first, Bella, and then you can do what you want second. Part of being a Cullen is being meticulously responsible.
Alice Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.581

It might be different for you. I’ve never seen anyone go through this who’s chosen it beforehand. It should be interesting to see how that affects you.
Alice Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.583

You are safe inside your mind. No one can reach you there. It’s no wonder that Aro was so curious about your future abilities.
Alice Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.584



I’m sorry. I can’t really empathize. My first memory is of seeing Jasper’s face in my future; I always knew that he was where my life was headed. But I can sympathize. I’m so sorry you have to choose between two good things.
Alice Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.585

Yeah — in between insulting somebody’s mother and taking the Lord’s name in vain, he said, ‘Bet you’re glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?’
Charlie Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.586

Edward’s more mature than Jacob when it comes to your safety, I’ll give him that much.
Charlie Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.587


One minute it was that wolf yowling, and then you couldn’t hear it anymore — Jake’s cussing drowned it right out. Got a set of lungs on him, that boy does.
Charlie Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.588

And Edward was really… nice. He seemed as worried about Jacob as you are — like that was his brother lying there. The look in his eyes… He’s a decent guy, Bella. I’ll try to remember that. No promises, though.
Charlie Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.588

Have you ever noticed how big those Quileute kids all are?
Charlie Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.589

If only I could be struck by lightning and be split in two. Preferably painfully. For the first time, giving up being human felt like a true sacrifice. Like it might be too much to lose.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.589


Dr. Fang isn’t sure how much pain medication I need, so he’s going with trial and error. Think he overdid it.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.592

Why didn’t anyone ever try to kill me when I wanted to die?
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.592

He wasn’t even mad at me — he wasn’t even mad at you! He’s so unselfish it makes me feel even worse. I wish he would have yelled at me or something. It’s not like I don’t deserve . . . well, much worse that getting yelled at But he doesn’t care. He just wants me to be happy.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.593

I was sort of counting on his reaction. Damn it all. He’s better than I thought.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.593


He’s playing every bit as hard as I am, only he knows what he’s doing and I don’t. Don’t blame me because he’s a better manipulator than I am — I haven’t been around long enough to learn all his tricks.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.594

Don’t you think you ought to know how you feel — just so that it doesn’t take you by surprise someday when it’s too late and you’re a married vampire?
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.594

Do I get points for making you cry?
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.597

How can we be friends, when we love each other like this?
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.597

I’m exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken… If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.599


Two futures, two soul mates… too much for any one person.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.599

He’s like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can’t live without him now. It’s too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.599



The clouds I can handle. But I can’t fight with an eclipse.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.600


Silly Jacob — don’t you know better than to believe vampire stories?
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.602

I’ll always be waiting in the wings, Bella. You’ll always have that spare option if you want it.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.602

I probably won’t think she’s good enough for you. I wonder how jealous I’ll be.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.603

Sometimes, there isn’t any way to compromise.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.607


Nothing scared Charlie worse than tears.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.608

My hindsight seemed unbearably clear tonight. I could see every mistake I’d made, every bit of harm I’d done, the small things and the big things. Each pain I’d caused Jacob, each wound I’d given Edward, stacked up into neat piles that I could not ignore or deny.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.608

It had not been Edward and Jacob that I’d been trying to force together, it was the two parts of myself, Edward’s Bella and Jacob’s Bella. But they could not exist together, and I never should have tried.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.608


If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.610

Edward, I know who I can’t live without.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.610

You may be brave enough or strong enough to live without me, if that’s what’s best. But I could never be that self-sacrificing. I have to be with you. It’s the only way I can live.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.610



Go play with Edward. I have to get to work.
Alice Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.614

I’ve chosen my life — now I want to start living it.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.616

At least my mom and dad and my friends will know the best part of my choice, the most I’m allowed to tell them. They’ll know I chose you, and they’ll know we’re together. They’ll know I’m happy, wherever I am. I think that’s the best I can do for them.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.616


Bella, I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to make everyone else happy. And I don’t care about anyone else’s feelings. I only need you to be happy. Don’t worry about breaking the news to Alice. I’ll take care of it. I promise she won’t make you feel guilty.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.617

We’re doing this your way. Because my way doesn’t work. I call you stubborn, but look at what I’ve done. I’ve clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what’s best for you, though it’s only hurt you. Hurt you so deeply, time and time again. I don’t trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your way. My way is always wrong.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.617


You don’t fight fair.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.620

It’s a good thing you’re bulletproof. I’m going to need that ring. It’s time to tell Charlie.
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 27, p.620


I’d hate to shatter the dream world you live in — the one where the sun is orbiting the place where you stand — so I won’t tell you how little I care what your problem is. Go. Away.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Epilogue, p.622

This is making me sick, Jacob. Can you imagine what this feels like to me? I don’t even like Bella Swan. And you’ve got me grieving over this leech-lover like I’m in love with her, too. Can you see where that might be a little confusing? I dreamed about kissing her last night! What the hell am I supposed to do with that?
Leah Clearwater, Eclipse, Epilogue, p.622

Now Sue, she would have made one hell of a wolf. Leah’s more of a wolverine.
Billy Black, Eclipse, Epilogue, p.626

If the silence in my head lasted, I would never go back. I wouldn’t be the first one to choose this form over the other. Maybe, if I ran far enough away, I would never have to hear again… I pushed my legs faster, letting Jacob Black disappear behind me.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Epilogue, p.629