Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.93
I didn’t know much about psychoanalysis, but I was pretty sure that it didn’t work unless the subject was relatively honest. Sure, I could tell the truth—if I wanted to spend the rest of my life in a padded cell.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.96
I don’t think I can live through seeing you try harder. I’ve never seen anyone trying so hard. It hurts to watch.
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.97
I want you to be happy—no, not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable.
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.97
The downside was that I had free time on my hands, and I tried to avoid free time at all costs.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.98
The scene kept cutting between the horrified face of the heroine, and the dead, emotionless face of her pursuer, back and forth as it closed the distance. And I realized which one resembled me the most.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.106
I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony. But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end, I would wind up as a zombie. I hadn’t seen that one coming.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.106
It was depressing to realize that I wasn’t the heroine anymore, that my story was over.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.106
It was inevitable that I would have nightmares, but they wouldn’t be about zombies.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.107
I saw no reason for fear. I couldn’t imagine anything in the world that there was left to be afraid of, not physically at least. One of the few advantages of losing everything.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.11
Are you crazy? Are you suicidal?
Jessica Stanley, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.110
I wasn’t suicidal. Even in the beginning, when death unquestionably would have been a relief, I didn’t consider it. I owed too much to Charlie. I felt too responsible for Renee. I had to think of them. And I’d made a promise not to do anything stupid or reckless. For all those reasons, I was still breathing.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.110
Option one: I was crazy. That was the layman’s term for people who heard voices in their heads. Possible.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.112
I was not allowed to think of him. That was something I tried to be very strict about. Of course I slipped; I was only human. But I was getting better, and so the pain was something I could avoid for days at a time now. The tradeoff was the never-ending numbness. Between pain and nothing, I’d chosen nothing.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.113
The anger was what I wanted to hear—false, fabricated evidence that he cared, a dubious gift from my subconscious.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.113
You are so odd, Bella Swan. I feel like I don’t know who you are.
Jessica Stanley, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.115
Instead of shying away from the memories, I’d walked forward and greeted them. I’d heard his voice, so clearly, in my head. That was going to cost me, I was sure of it. Especially if I couldn’t reclaim the haze to protect myself. I felt too alert, and that frightened me.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.116
As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget. I worried—late in the night, when the exhaustion of sleep deprivation broke down my defenses—that it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve, and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I could not think of them, but I must remember them. Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be able to live—I had to know that he existed. That was all. Everything else I could endure. So long as he existed.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.116
Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.117
It didn’t feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I’d grown strong enough to bear it.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.118
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t know what to expect in the morning.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.119
I wished I could feel numb again, but I couldn’t remember how I’d managed it before.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.123
I wondered how long this could last. Maybe someday, years from now—if the pain would just decrease to the point where I could bear it—I would be able to look back on those few short months that would always be the best of my life. And, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel grateful for as much time as he’d given me. More than I’d asked for, more than I’d deserved. Maybe someday I’d be able to see it that way.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.124
As if he’d never existed? That was insanity. It was a promise that he could never keep, a promise that was broken as soon as he’d made it.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.125
Where was the logic in sticking to an agreement that had already been violated by the other party?
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.125
Reckless in Forks—now there was a hopeless proposition.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.125
To be reckless in Forks would take a lot of creativity—maybe more than I had. But I wished I could find some way… I might feel better if I weren’t holding fast, all alone, to a broken pact.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.125
I wanted to be stupid and reckless, and I wanted to break promises. Why stop at one?
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.127
I needed to reign in the enthusiasm before I gave him the wrong idea—it was just that it had been a long time since I’d felt so light and buoyant. The rarity of the feeling made it more difficult to manage.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.135
Only a teenage boy would agree to this: deceiving both our parents while repairing dangerous vehicles using money meant for my college education.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.136
I was laughing, actually laughing, and there wasn’t even anyone watching. I felt so weightless that I laughed again, just make the feeling last longer.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 6, p.141
Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed them. It was natural, a part of who he was. No wonder I was so eager to see him.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 6, p.145
It’s not my fault you’re a freak.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 6, p.147
I remembered the first day I’d come to Forks High School—how desperately I’d wished that I could turn gray, fade into the wet concrete of the sidewalk like an oversized chameleon. It seemed I was getting that wish answered, a year late.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 6, p.152
I wasn’t sure what the hell I was doing here. Was I trying to push myself back into the zombie stupor? Had I turned masochistic—developed a taste for torture?
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.159
Unattainable and impossible, uncaring and distracted… but he was out there, somewhere. I had to believe that.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.160
But it wouldnt it be worse if there were no change? If the the couches sat just as I'd last seen them, the paintings on the walls - worse still, the piano on its low platform? It would be second only to the house disappearing all together, to see that there was no physical possession that tied them in anyway. That everything remained, untouched and forgotten, behind them.
Just like me.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.162
Maybe I was developing a new kind of sickness, another addiction, like the numbness before.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.162
I’d come full circle, and now everything felt like an echo—an empty echo, devoid of the interest it used to have.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.167
Sometimes you’re a little strange, Bella. Do you know that?
Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.172
It was strange for me, being this close—emotionally rather than physically, though the physical was strange for me, too—to another human being. It wasn’t my usual style. I didn’t normally relate to people so easily, on such a basic level. Not human beings.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.179
Racing down the road like that had been amazing. The feel of the wind in my face, the speed and the freedom… it reminded me of a past life, flying through the thick forest without a road, piggyback while he ran—I stopped thinking right there, letting the memory break off in the sudden agony.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.190
Did you know, you’re sort of beautiful?
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.192
The hole came back, the way it always did when I was away from Jacob, but it didn’t throb so badly around the edges. I was already planning ahead, looking forward to more delusions, and that was a distraction.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.193
The nightmare, too, had lost a little of its potency. I was horrified by the nothingness , as always, but i was also strangely impatient as I waited for the moment that would send me screaming into consciousness. I knew the nightmare had to end.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.193
I could think of one place where that might hold true. One place that would always belong to him and no one else. A magic place, full of light. The beautiful meadow I'd seen only once in my life, lit by sunshine and the sparkle of his skin.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.195
This idea had a huge potential for backfiring - it might be dangerously painful.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.195
I was like a lost moon—my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation—that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 9, p.201
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.93
I didn’t know much about psychoanalysis, but I was pretty sure that it didn’t work unless the subject was relatively honest. Sure, I could tell the truth—if I wanted to spend the rest of my life in a padded cell.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.96
I don’t think I can live through seeing you try harder. I’ve never seen anyone trying so hard. It hurts to watch.
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.97
I want you to be happy—no, not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable.
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.97
The downside was that I had free time on my hands, and I tried to avoid free time at all costs.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.98
The scene kept cutting between the horrified face of the heroine, and the dead, emotionless face of her pursuer, back and forth as it closed the distance. And I realized which one resembled me the most.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.106
I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony. But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end, I would wind up as a zombie. I hadn’t seen that one coming.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.106
It was depressing to realize that I wasn’t the heroine anymore, that my story was over.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.106
It was inevitable that I would have nightmares, but they wouldn’t be about zombies.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.107
I saw no reason for fear. I couldn’t imagine anything in the world that there was left to be afraid of, not physically at least. One of the few advantages of losing everything.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.11
Are you crazy? Are you suicidal?
Jessica Stanley, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.110
I wasn’t suicidal. Even in the beginning, when death unquestionably would have been a relief, I didn’t consider it. I owed too much to Charlie. I felt too responsible for Renee. I had to think of them. And I’d made a promise not to do anything stupid or reckless. For all those reasons, I was still breathing.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.110
Option one: I was crazy. That was the layman’s term for people who heard voices in their heads. Possible.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.112
I was not allowed to think of him. That was something I tried to be very strict about. Of course I slipped; I was only human. But I was getting better, and so the pain was something I could avoid for days at a time now. The tradeoff was the never-ending numbness. Between pain and nothing, I’d chosen nothing.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.113
The anger was what I wanted to hear—false, fabricated evidence that he cared, a dubious gift from my subconscious.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.113
You are so odd, Bella Swan. I feel like I don’t know who you are.
Jessica Stanley, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.115
Instead of shying away from the memories, I’d walked forward and greeted them. I’d heard his voice, so clearly, in my head. That was going to cost me, I was sure of it. Especially if I couldn’t reclaim the haze to protect myself. I felt too alert, and that frightened me.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.116
As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget. I worried—late in the night, when the exhaustion of sleep deprivation broke down my defenses—that it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve, and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I could not think of them, but I must remember them. Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be able to live—I had to know that he existed. That was all. Everything else I could endure. So long as he existed.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.116
Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.117
It didn’t feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I’d grown strong enough to bear it.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.118
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t know what to expect in the morning.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.119
I wished I could feel numb again, but I couldn’t remember how I’d managed it before.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.123
I wondered how long this could last. Maybe someday, years from now—if the pain would just decrease to the point where I could bear it—I would be able to look back on those few short months that would always be the best of my life. And, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel grateful for as much time as he’d given me. More than I’d asked for, more than I’d deserved. Maybe someday I’d be able to see it that way.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.124
As if he’d never existed? That was insanity. It was a promise that he could never keep, a promise that was broken as soon as he’d made it.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.125
Where was the logic in sticking to an agreement that had already been violated by the other party?
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.125
Reckless in Forks—now there was a hopeless proposition.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.125
To be reckless in Forks would take a lot of creativity—maybe more than I had. But I wished I could find some way… I might feel better if I weren’t holding fast, all alone, to a broken pact.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.125
I wanted to be stupid and reckless, and I wanted to break promises. Why stop at one?
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.127
I needed to reign in the enthusiasm before I gave him the wrong idea—it was just that it had been a long time since I’d felt so light and buoyant. The rarity of the feeling made it more difficult to manage.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.135
Only a teenage boy would agree to this: deceiving both our parents while repairing dangerous vehicles using money meant for my college education.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.136
I was laughing, actually laughing, and there wasn’t even anyone watching. I felt so weightless that I laughed again, just make the feeling last longer.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 6, p.141
Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed them. It was natural, a part of who he was. No wonder I was so eager to see him.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 6, p.145
It’s not my fault you’re a freak.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 6, p.147
I remembered the first day I’d come to Forks High School—how desperately I’d wished that I could turn gray, fade into the wet concrete of the sidewalk like an oversized chameleon. It seemed I was getting that wish answered, a year late.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 6, p.152
I wasn’t sure what the hell I was doing here. Was I trying to push myself back into the zombie stupor? Had I turned masochistic—developed a taste for torture?
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.159
Unattainable and impossible, uncaring and distracted… but he was out there, somewhere. I had to believe that.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.160
But it wouldnt it be worse if there were no change? If the the couches sat just as I'd last seen them, the paintings on the walls - worse still, the piano on its low platform? It would be second only to the house disappearing all together, to see that there was no physical possession that tied them in anyway. That everything remained, untouched and forgotten, behind them.
Just like me.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.162
Maybe I was developing a new kind of sickness, another addiction, like the numbness before.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.162
I’d come full circle, and now everything felt like an echo—an empty echo, devoid of the interest it used to have.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.167
Sometimes you’re a little strange, Bella. Do you know that?
Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.172
It was strange for me, being this close—emotionally rather than physically, though the physical was strange for me, too—to another human being. It wasn’t my usual style. I didn’t normally relate to people so easily, on such a basic level. Not human beings.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.179
Racing down the road like that had been amazing. The feel of the wind in my face, the speed and the freedom… it reminded me of a past life, flying through the thick forest without a road, piggyback while he ran—I stopped thinking right there, letting the memory break off in the sudden agony.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.190
Did you know, you’re sort of beautiful?
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.192
The hole came back, the way it always did when I was away from Jacob, but it didn’t throb so badly around the edges. I was already planning ahead, looking forward to more delusions, and that was a distraction.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.193
The nightmare, too, had lost a little of its potency. I was horrified by the nothingness , as always, but i was also strangely impatient as I waited for the moment that would send me screaming into consciousness. I knew the nightmare had to end.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.193
I could think of one place where that might hold true. One place that would always belong to him and no one else. A magic place, full of light. The beautiful meadow I'd seen only once in my life, lit by sunshine and the sparkle of his skin.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.195
This idea had a huge potential for backfiring - it might be dangerously painful.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 8, p.195
I was like a lost moon—my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation—that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 9, p.201
Post a Comment